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When your girlfriend knights you with a pizza cutter instead of proposing.
When your girlfriend knights you with a spatula instead of making you breakfast in bed
When your girlfriend declares war on France instead of saying "good morning, my love".
When your girlfriend declares war on a rival gang instead of asking how your day was.
When your girlfriend declares war on Mars instead of bringing you breakfast in bed.
When your girlfriend hires a mariachi band to sing her fart remix instead of writing love letters
When your girlfriend sets fire to your ex's car instead of writing you love letters
When your girlfriend offers you a bouquet of fidget spinners instead of a rose.
When your girlfriend declares you king by summoning pigeons instead of presenting a crown.